The Panic-Button

It's my last year in CBN. For real. No more turning back and indulge the fact that I'm still a school girl..

As time passes by, I noticed I'm wasting alot of precious time doing alot of things which are not worthy enough to be remembered. But I guess some things are unavoidable.

Let's take my duty as a prefect for example.

Every single day, no matter how hard I try to fulfill teachers' requests.. They just keep coming. And regardless of how I felt or how I am coping with my studies, they keep pouring in. But there are moments which I will forever treasure in my memories.






But so far, the bitter ones are the ones troubling me right now.





*sighhhh*


Who would've thought I will spend the last year of CBN in darkness?

April is here. What have I done other than sulking in a corner?

I refused many hands who tried reaching out for me.
You may be right about me being selfish.





I guess I deserve it alrighty. I'm neither here nor there.

It's either I drown in my own world, trying to strive my best...
or..............


*sigh*





But deep down.. I have this high expectation of how everything is supposed to be.. And no matter how hard it is to accept what I've got myself into, this feeling about that certain community will never be changed. If I'm forced to work alone, I WILL DAMN RIGHT DO MY BEST!!! It's a damn frustrating thing to do when you have no cooperation from the community you expecting from. And it's tiring to cope with when you're working full time while others can goyang kaki.




On another note, my first test was a disaster. My marks had dropped, compared to my finals last year. *sigh*

Can't wait till I step down and drop every single responsibilities on me. Till then, I don't think I'll ever be able to focus 100% on my studies. 75% maybe??

And dammit la. File checking is here. Maths Paper 1 work is waayyyyyyyyy overdue.................